...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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