??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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