I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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