I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
