Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
