so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize