Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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