Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
