Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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