when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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