If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
