Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
