bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
