she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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