absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
