When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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