here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
