WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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