walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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