And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
