Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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