I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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