She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
