TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
