how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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