Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize