I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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