he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
