Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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