Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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