That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
