I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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