Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
