I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
