its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
