This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i already hear my dad disowning me
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
