I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My vagina is very pro this idea
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
