You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
