she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize