That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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