Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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