Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize
