i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
