The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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