did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
