Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
