I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize