should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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