We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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