I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
