I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
