Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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