she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
