You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
