If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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