You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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