you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
