I'm sorry my penis didn't work
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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