I'd wear matching sweaters with you
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
