do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
True strength comes from lack of pants
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
