i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
